Freddie's Secrets Revealed
by oldscudder1
Summary: This story takes place after the final scene in iOMG and is centered around Freddie's secret feelings.  One shot


Disclaimers: I don't own iCarly or any characters.

Is this story out of character of the show: Yes, Will it happen in the show: Most likely not, Could it happen this way in real life: Absolutely, this is based on similar event from my life (see end notes), Is this mushy gushy fluffy: yes, for all those who like that sort of thing.

FREDDIE'S SECRETS REVEALED

"Oh God...Carly!" Sam whisper yells as she sees Carly looking out the window. "I'm sorry Freddie" she says as she turns and disappears through the door opposite.

"Wha-what was that?" Carly stammered coming up to me. "Did she just let it out Freddie? I feel like an idiot thinking it was Brad! It is now time. FREDDIE!" she snaps as I finally come out of my cloud.

Our (Carly and my) little, well not so little secret, must now be revealed. How I wish I had let it out earlier. Months ago, but I am no better at putting my feelings out there than anyone. Yeah I talked a good game tonight while trying to get Sam to let go because I too thought it was Brad she had feelings for and I was trying to help a friend, even as much as it was hurting me to do so, but I was/am hiding mine and could not let them out.

"Freddie! You need to find her and tell her...NOW! Where do you think she ran off to? Should I get Gibby and Spencer to help?"

"I know exactly where she is." I let out. I have followed her on several occasions to find out where she goes when ditching class. "Yes Carly you're right; its time and do not follow or get the others either. This is between her and me and I need to do this without an audience."

As I turn away, I can see the concern in my good friend's face. It was not jealousy; I had confided in her quite some time ago and made her promise, a real promise, never to say anything to anyone.

I knew where she was and as I let the fire door of the boiler room slide shut soundlessly, I could hear her sobbing and my heart fell to my knees. She is sitting on the janitor's couch behind the boilers curled up with her knees to her chest rocking. She does not look up as I approach, but she knows I am there.

"Freddie? How did you know I was here, no one knows where I hang out when I need to get away at school?" she starts, but I cut her off before she can continue.

"Really?" I throw out there. "Where do you think the Fat Cakes and beef jerky come from? Hadn't you wondered why they are always here when you sit down on this couch? Take a look there's extra today for the lock in." She glanced over then up to me as I continue the confessions. "This is the first secret I am going to share with you now and it is one that was between the janitors and me"

"Fre..." she starts but I cut her off so I can get this out.

"Samantha, let me talk. I will answer any questions, in which the answer is not revealed as I am explaining things." Again, she does not protest.

"It is not only you that has been hiding secrets/feelings; even though we had all vowed to tell each other everything." She now looked up into my eyes and again I feel myself get weak in the knees and my chest is tightening up, but I have to go on.

"Carly and I have been keeping a secret of mine from you and it is time I come clean." She starts to open her mouth, but as I raised my eyebrow, she sits back and stays quiet. "Samantha, I have...I have been a fool" that is not what I was going to say, but that is what came out. Oh God why is this so hard? I resolve again and this time I spill it out. Plain and simple. "Samantha, I love you. I have for a long time. I thought you would have noticed this the night you and Carly almost died falling off the window-washing rig. I was beside myself and it wasn't Carly's name I was screaming, it was yours. When I hauled you in the window, I couldn't help but look you up and down to see if you were alright. When you didn't acknowledge me then, I buttoned up again and was too afraid of saying anything about how I felt. Not just because I was certain you would reject me, but I was also concerned about our friendship, albeit complicated as it is, and our friendship with Carly and everyone else.

"You are probably wondering how and when did this happen, and why? Well I can tell you the moment I began to think of you as possibly more than a friend or a girl who torments me, and, in light of earlier this evening, I now think it may be the same day that you started feeling the same way for me as well. It was the evening out on the fire escape after our kiss. We never said anything to each other after that, but I definitely felt something strange and I liked it.

"I can also tell you when I started having stronger feelings that I believed you to really be more than a friend and that I do care about you, but in doing so I am letting you in on another secret. This one has been kept by Carly and Me and Wendy (of all people)." At this, she started to speak, but quickly sat back and listened respecting my instructions to let me say my peace. "Remember Missy, yeah I know how could you forget that..., well any way. You asked me for help and while you don't know it, I did. You see I won the "School at Sea" contest, but I needed to help you as you asked and I persuaded them to give the cruise to Missy. The three of us agreed to not let you know, but Carly was the worst, she knew right then and there that there was more to it than just helping out a friend and I had all I could do to keep her from saying anything.

"As time went on I could sense things changing in us, we still fought and argued, but I came to like our interactions and would often antagonize you just to spend time listening to you. And, by the way, I also noted that we did not always spend time together just arguing, we began to spend more time just talking and being together alone. If I wasn't the monumental dorkwad, nub, dipthong, that I am, I would have told you my feelings long ago, but again I was not courageous enough to. You know the whole fear of rejection thing"

I am now kneeling in front of her and I take her hand. She does not recoil, I can feel the warmth of it, and I can't believe that just the touch of her hand in mine can make me feel this way; as if all is right.

She does speak up now with a question and I let her although I still have more to say. "If you did have these feelings, why did you start dating Carly?

"I thought you would never see me in any light like that, and besides I was confused. Wasn't she the one I had been chasing for so long? Wasn't she the one I supposed to be with? No she wasn't and it was you that pointed it out to me." We broke up right after you made me realize I was just 'bacon' to her. And here is where we get to _the_ Carly and Freddie secret. After the cast and bandages were removed and I was all healed up, Carly asked me out and that is when we made our big secret we kept from you. I turned her down and told her then that I no longer had any feelings for her, other than to be her great friend, and that it is you, Samantha, that I wanted to hold hands with, to spend time with, to make happy."

She quickly added before I could go on "Why then did you dance with her and hold her close after the 'Girls Choice Dance' at the Groovy Smoothie?"

"We had just had the worst evening...what, how did you know we danced?"

"I saw you, which is one of my secrets. Freddie, that really hurt me and I never said anything to anyone because I once again thought I was going to be left out, to be alone while I had serious feelings for you." She began to tear up again and I gently wiped the tears away with my thumb and began in again.

"Samantha, we just had the worst night imaginable with two people we absolutely could not stand to be with. We decided that we both deserved at least one nice dance that night. Nothing more than that happened. In fact, we talked about you. She tried to convince me then that it was time to lay it all out to you. I dismissed this since, I figured again that you only seen me as a nubish tech geek, as had you said anything to the contrary to Carly about me, that would have been too much for her to keep in. So, I resigned myself once again to sit back and take the lumps of being too scared to stand up for myself and let you know how I feel.

"I have one last secret I have to get out in the open, well I have other secrets of course, but they are out of context here. This one is all mine. No one else knows about this. Now don't get creeped out, I am not a stalker or anything like that, but for the past five months, I have, well sort of, walked you home almost every day you did not stay at Carly's place."

"What are you talking about? You have never walked me home and even if you did, why would you?" she exclaimed with just a touch of anger flaring.

I cut her off again before she could continue. "I know where you live and the types of neighborhoods you have to walk through to get home. They are a bit on the skeezy side and I couldn't stand to have you walk by yourself, so I started to walk behind you to make sure nothing happened or that no one tried to hurt you."

"No way you followed me, I would have known."

"I have watched you and your sneaky ways for a long time, I have learned well, and I am getting pretty good at sneaking myself. How else would I be able to get in and out of the apartment without my mother noticing, or you or Carly finding out what I was doing?

She looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I could tell she still had questions. I just hoped that she would not throw spears or daggers at me. I have put it all out there and I am feeling a bit vulnerable still.

"Freddie" she started calmly "why are you calling me Samantha?" She said this with no anger in her voice, just questioning.

Of all the questions she could have asked, why this one? "I find Samantha to be a very beautiful name and one befitting someone as beautiful as you. I have always liked it and in light of putting everything out here right now it just seems right to address you by your full name, it is the name I say when I talk to you in my day dreams. If you would rather I didn't call you Samantha, I won't."

"I can handle Samantha, but only when we are alone, I have a reputation to uphold you know." She adds with a smirk and I feel a relieved.

She looked up again and this time she seemed a bit worried before stating, "That birthday card, you know the one you mentioned earlier, you know I gave you that on the birthday after our first kiss. I thought you would get the reference to the word hate in there as our code. I know now that you didn't because of how I always treat you. I am so sorry..." she trailed off and tears began to stream down her face again.

With that I grabbed her up and held her close and softly whispered, "Sam do not beat yourself up over that. I was blind and scared. We both need some lessons in expressing ourselves. But look at us now!" I could feel her ease into me and me into her holding each other tightly.

After a long minute, she looked up and asked "Freddie, why did you keep that card, I mean, if you thought I really hated you and all?"

I looked down at her, kissed her forehead gently and said, "Samantha, regardless of what you think of her, this is a secret my mother has helped me keep. I have kept everything you have ever given me since that first kiss on the fire escape. Every scrap of paper, photo, everything; I even kept the lentil you shot into my eye. I didn't know why I have kept all these things until just tonight. She found my stash on one of her raids and after I told her how I felt about you she, like Carly agreed to not spill the beans."

With that confession, she looked up with the most beautiful smile, her longing eyes looking into mine and I kissed her. This time instead of a one sided kiss like earlier tonight, there was passion from both of us and I didn't wanted it to end. We both held each other close, so close I thought I would crush her.

When we finally separated our lips, both of us were smiling as the weight of fear, anxiety, and sadness had been lifted from us. We continued to hold onto each other reveling in the warmth and closeness of our bodies together. As we looked at each other we both knew, at this moment, this was the happiest we had ever been.

(Author's end note) As stated above, this is based somewhat on true life experience with uncanny similar situations. In my case, ironically, it was also a brunette and a blond, but they weren't exactly friends. I had been dating the brunette, but spending more and more time with the blonde. My blond haired, blue eyed, murder, grabbed me outside the school in much the same manner as in the last scene of iOMG. The brunette was watching the whole thing and long story short, I ran after the blonde that night, leaving the brunette by herself.


End file.
